Donny Hathaway serenaded these lyrics to me this morning en route to work and it is still resonating with me as I blog this am. I actually have been guilty of letting the spin get me down from time to time. Well, I don't know if down is the right verbiage, but I have definitely been reflective and thoughtful about where I am in life and where I would like to be. Sometimes, the two do not SEEM to mesh well. I've found myself withdrawn and in my own head, which at times can be the worst vacation spot ever. Life has such an artistic way of throwing beautifully ugly curve balls, that can sometimes make you question the meaning of it all. I am continuously heeding to not dodge the balls, but take the hit. In the end, I always say, I may be scratched and dented, but i'm still spit shined polish. So, after hearing Donny this morning, I started thinking surely I can't be the only hueman that goes through these emotional bouts that seem like one extremely long PMS experience. Where nothing is clear in my mind, irrationality becomes my best friend, and negativity the monkey on my back. Days where the "bad" things seem to outweigh the good and the ability to be grateful is tested. I've found that even though it is difficult to look through the foggy lens of "pity party", it is sometimes so necessary to help put things in perspective. I always allow myself to feel whatever it is I'm feeling, so that I may process it, learn from it, re-learn from it, and move on. The important thing is to not dwell in the fog. By nature, I am very a optimistic person who simply will not play the victim role, so when my spirit lands on the downside of the earth's axis, it can be frustrating. It happens to best of us though. Yet once I process whatever it is I need to at the time, clarity always presents itself. And for that I celebrate and welcome the world's spins.
Attempting to be in control of uncontrollable situations is often where stumbling blocks occur because in reality we control nothing on this plane, save for our thoughts. We can not control how others treat us, but we can control our thought process and response to said treatment. We can not control life's tides, but we can control how we choose to ride the waves. We can not control the world's spins(life), but we can choose to hold on steadfastly. Often times, it is so easy to get caught up in the externals of life. The haves and the have nots, the unmet goals, life's demands, responsibilites, etc. In this particular time of clarity, it has been reinforced in me that quality trumps quantity time and time again and that control in certain aspects is not mine to have. Though it may not seem like i've accomplished much, I have accomplished alot. Though it may not seem that i'm not where I want to be, I'm exactly where I need to be. So I will continue hanging onto the world and pushing towards brighter days. They are waiting to embrace me.