Koan

 

So I read this Koan this am:

If somebody lies to you, what can you do?

 

I've been meditating on this all morning long, because there are not many things that disgust me.  But being lied to is one thing that I loathe and I typically remove myself emotionally from anyone who has lied to me. I feed them with long handled spoons.  Walls go up, and I never trust that person again. I've always viewed people that have lied to me as insulting my intelligence.  I'm realizing now that I was depending on trying to reason with huemaness-a losing battle I suppose.  I'm not saying lying is right, but I can see how one would sometimes choose a fib over truth in some situations. The fact of the matter is,  I can not control someone lying to me, but I can control how I choose to deal with the situation going forward.

 

So I started  thinking although I am a horrible liar, I can not act as if I've never lied before.  I've been thinking of reasons I may have lied in the past; not as justification but moreso to acknowledge my human flaws.  Times that come to mind were when I didn't want to be viewed as stupid, or I was afraid of being rejected in a certain situation, but never with the intention of insulting anyone else's intelligence.  There's really no difference in me lying and being lied to.  Intuitively, I think going forward I will be more cautious with how I deal emotionally with liars.  What I won't do, is automatically shut down emotionally, or be suspect of an individuals every statement, like I have before. Not to be naive to the fact that I'm being lied to, but to be more accepting of the fact that a lie is not always with the intention of hurting someone even though that may be the outcome.  Personally, I think I will stick with just telling the truth no matter how painful.  I find a certain freedom in saying what I honestly feel and not being restricted to a lie that I'll have to remember.  Its just too much work. So for those, that I may have lied to.  I'm sorry.  For those who have lied to me,  I forgive you. 

10.29.2011

Brushes stroked blank canvases
to a soundtrack of creativity
open hearts and open minds
conversations over wine
and quality time
with the man that was mad
cold bodies, heated each otha
like two sticks creating fyah
the hugs and spoons
drifted into slumber
awakened by the light
of the sun
Only to
end the night's bliss.

40/40/20

Had a conversation the other night with a friend that said he had to be 50% physically attracted to a woman and 50% mentally attracted to her.  Some may view physical attraction as a bit shallow, but if we are honest with ourselves, we will acknowledge that huemans are visual creatures first.  So I can understand that both physical and mental attraction is necessary to play a part in sustainability of a relationship, if there is to be one.  So I started thinking about what my percentage "requirements" are, and I think I've decided at 40% physical attraction,  40% mental attraction, and 20% room for growth attraction.  40% physical attraction is a good starting point for me.  Meaning a guy is handsome enough for me to want him to be close to me for an extended period of time, you know the basics.  Eyes, smile, cleanliness, nice forearms(don't ask).  Things I find physically attractive.  This may sound surface, but it is a reality.  I want to be attracted to the person I'm with.  And attraction is  relative and a matter of personal opinion.  40% mental attraction is enough for me to stay intrigued,  be able to carry on conversations, and learn something from a guy. There is nothing like being able to look a handsome brotha in the face and what is coming out of his mouth is making sense, funny, and intriguing.  WIN.  That 20%, ironically, is what I find most appealing though.  The room or potential for us to grow and build.  In other words, the person needs to have an openness about them. Open mind. That 20%, although small numerically can exponentially make a great relationship for me.  I think this 20% would compliment the mental and physical attraction and harness an innergetic/spiritual gravitation towards each other because of that openness and potential. What's your percentages? Just some randomness.....

Brinner success

And fabulous it was!  My planned candlelit brinner (breakfast for dinner) and more was a total and complete success.  I think the individual on the receiving end was more than pleasantly surprised and every appetite was satisfied. ***pats self on the back***.   It goes to show, when I really apply myself, epicness occurs.  This event was motivation to apply that same innerg to more situations in my life. Go hard or go home.  Go all in.  Ya get the idea.  Look out world..

here goes nada



I've come to realize and accept that I have a compulsive disorder with making list when I'm in the process of planning something.  I'm typically fairly organized, but when it comes to something that I consider to be a big deal to me and the persons involved, I tend to reach a whole notha' level of organization--- and lists, and checking and re-checking.  So much so, that I'm starting to get on my own damn nerves.   But, I love the whole process of coming up with an idea, building on the idea, creatively nipping and tucking the idea, and executing it. Here's to trusting the end result will be fabulous.   Stay tuned......

.......

ignite

the fight

within

to win

its not

a sin

to stand

not fall

for all

you believe

conceive

achieve

your dreams

stay woke

don’t sleep

just peep

the game

that’s ran

don’t run

random

Had a great workout/yoga session with my cousins on this past Sunday.  I'm hoping  we can keep that inner g going each Sunday, so I can get better at teaching and we can continue to connect and create great ciphers.  I love my female cousins, they truly are the best positive female inner g a girl could have around.