tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7947688863041196471.post3004476610645652291..comments2012-04-13T09:07:49.912-07:00Comments on contemplative ventilation: Djembeluvchld0904http://www.blogger.com/profile/00220672531229460696noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7947688863041196471.post-63324886590183122632012-01-20T07:33:22.106-08:002012-01-20T07:33:22.106-08:00I like the direction of this poem! Maybe if done a...I like the direction of this poem! Maybe if done aloud, I could see how your layout or delivery is given. Not that this HAS to be done orally. The sraggered stanzas are what I'm looking at, in terms of how you're laying the emphasis on each phrase. "Rhythm in the hips"...very nice, imagery, beautiful, creative! Some corrections here. Overall, the emotion is felt :)Copper Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05869003867515942385noreply@blogger.com